Hedgehog Pie
by Bletherskite
Summary: In a world where mobians and humans don't always see eye to eye, a young hedgehog finds himself in way over his head. Lost on the other side, he must find a way to stay alive, stay sane and stay raw. Though on the way learns more about the world than he at first bargained for.
1. Run run run as fast as you can

**My second fic, this one is an AU, I'm not sure if it will have any continuity. I might end up creating my own, law to it's self, universe, or just chopping and changing however I like. I let you know when I figure it out. Back to Hedgehog Pie, name will make sense, honest promises! Take sonic whatever age you like though at the moment I'm thinking 11-15. whatever floats your boat. As you will see, mobians and humans don't live in harmony with one another. They even speak different languages. Though you, dear reader, can understand both. Without further ado-**

**Disclaimer: (other than this ado...) I do not own Sonic The Hedgehog, he be all SEGA.**

Each breath caught in his chest. Light was fading. Aside from celestial shimmers, the only light was harsh and artificial. He ran with short sharp movements. Short sharp breaths. Shouting. He could hear shouting.

"Gasp!" The cold was making his overworked lungs hurt. Desperation making each second fly past far quicker than it normally did. He couldn't keep up with his own thoughts. Nor the stress. But he couldn't let up now. He'd stuck it this far out. Oh, how he wished he could say 'not when I'm so close to home!'

"Gasp!" Not that he had a home per say. But whatever home was, he was no where near close. He just needed some safety. Somewhere to rest. Away from the shots, the shouts. He'd have to work to get there. "Gaah!" He stumbled for a moment. Risked a glance at his right leg. Blood. Fabulous. That was going to slow him up, _' I ought to pay more attention' _. Not that paying attention was easy given the circumstances...

"Gasp!" Boy did it hurt to breath! How can something so natural be such a pain? And another thing...

Splash

"Gaaauuuugh!" Where did that come from? '_Urgh, that didn't feel good. Probably wasn't clean either. Not the best thing for an open wound. Ha. At least it wasn't a river._' Thoughts were a distraction at this point. He should have thought of that.

A shot startled the poor boy. A flick of the ear. A jerk of the head. A twist of the ankle. Down he went. He stuttered forward at such an angle that he soon found himself using both feet and hands to manoeuvre through the forests green carpet. On reflection, running around the undergrowth like a feral dented in his ego. But this was the here and now. Here and now, as long as he didn't get caught, he didn't care.

"Gasp!" Nobody wanted to get caught. There were few facts. There was plenty of speculation. Put on display. Observed 24/7. Cut up in the name of science. Work on a farm. Farmed. Trapped in houses. Sold in shops. Skinned or shaved. Hunted for fun. And his greatest fear- some rich humans fancy snack. He ran faster.

"Gasp!" Of course nobody knew for sure. The horror stories were enough to put any mobian off. Especially children. Humans kids had the bogey monster. Mobians kits had Henry the VIII. He'd been told those tales. Memories of the nightmares about humans he'd had when he was little, fuelled his exhausted body to continue. He figured that he'd be having them again for the next few weeks. Provided they didn't become a reality before then. _'Then again pies don't dream right?'_

The glare of flash lights scoured mist. For him. Looking for him. Searching for him. Hunting him. The light flickered back and forth. _'Stupid humans. Can't even hold a torch straight. They're giving me a head ache.'_ His sore head grumbled. The humans were not letting up.

"Gotcha'!" And were apparently closer than he thought. He let out a high pitched squeal. A natural reaction. The hand had missed. Barely. He only saw a flash of human. He did hear the rustle of undergrowth.

He tumbled forwards. Tripped. Forwards rolled. Straight into the middle of a "Road?" Water droplets had formed on the tarmac. They collected on the underside of is tail. He blinked a few times. Knocked the edges of his shoes together a few times. Hands patting the damp ground his butt had unceremoniously parked it's self on. "Huh! A road. Where were you when I needed you eh?" He was so busy talking to the inanimate solid mass beneath his slight form that he forgot about the hunting party after his hide.

Until they poured onto the road a few meters behind. _'Get up you idiot! What, d'ya hit your head on the way down?'' _He jerked himself upright and sprinted down the road. Humans hot on his heels. He risked a glance over his narrow shoulder. _'Huh? They were so close... why'd they slow up?' _ An eyebrow rose in confusion. _'Surely they can't have given up so-'_ "Guagh my eyes!" A blinding light. Or two. It happened too fast to tell. He stepped back a few paces. It 'cawed' in warning. Real loud.

He dove off to his right. It swerved the other way. Not that a human would mind if he joined the road kill club. They probably just got a fright. Or didn't want to damage their metal wagon.

On his way off road, the earth under his foot disappeared. Now unbalanced with one knee submerged in earth, the ground crumbling, he dropped. His stomach flopped. Like a short and not fun roller-coaster ride. Then it got more hectic.

Knees made contact with something curved and solid. Torso propelled forwards. The world a blur.

CRACK

That hurt. The "OW!" died in his throat. The world spun. He reeled back. Slipped further down to a now almost horizontal position. Each time he blinked it became harder to heave his lids up again. He could still see the beams of artificial light flailing around in search of him well above his head. The calls of humans still loud yet fuzzy, if that was even possible for sound. He didn't have the strength nor time to debate. His eye sight filled with multicoloured furry caterpillars till the black edges of his vision drowned them.

**YEY! Not a massive chapter. I have a few in the works for this and lots of ideas! Feel like my tense is weird, but... yeah... trying out a few new techniques (sentence length for one). I hope there is enough intrigue to make you come back for more whilst not being too complicated (boring you to death in the process). Reviews (especially those including constructive criticism) are welcome and thanks for reading!**

**Bletherskite**


	2. Foraging

**Hello again! This is the second chapter, don't get your hopes up. Updates will not be this regular forever. Sigh... However I am having fun writing this story and also trying more techniques (namely 1st person accounts). Not sure if I can pull it off, so please let me know if you don't like it and where I can improve – constructive criticism welcome as always. Without further ado – enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: See initial chapter.**

**Sonic's POV**

Ugh! That doesn't feel good! Yak! Wet!Wha- where? Okay, okay. Think it through. Spotted. Chased by humans. Gash on leg. Wait.

Check, that's still there. Hmmm... muddy water apparently not the thing to wash cuts. At least my surprise wasn't a bear trap. That would make running much more difficult. Stop it. Stupid attention span of a gnat. Back to the leg from a horror film. Okay it's not too bad, but still leaking and-

That's not the only thing leaking. What's that on my face? Blood? Great now my gloves look glorious! That is not going to wash out. Wow. Really not the most important thing here. So, I must of hit my head earlier. I'll blame the distractedness for that. Is that a real word? Shut up brain! So I fell in here. Before that... hand, road, metal carriage, fall and here! Alright. Ungh! What is-? What is that on my neck? It's all weird and tingly.

…

"SPIDER!" Off. Off. Off. Off. Ooooooooooooooffffffffffffffff!

**Third person POV**

While the little hedgehog flailed his arms and jumped up into a standing position, the eight-legged offender sauntered off slowly. No doubt bemused smile on it's pincer ridden face.

It only took a bark to make the frantic little mammal freeze. Out of breath from his struggles. Eyes wide with the thought of being hunted down by dogs. They had a good sense of smell. They could track him. No doubt feral too. Trained. Trained to trap him, hurt him, but not damage him.

They weren't friendly. Just obedient to monsters. Malicious monsters. Monsters who wanted his hide on their bedroom floor. Stepping all over his prone form, just because their wooden floor chilled their toes. Then again, they have him draped around their shoulders. Warming their fur-less nape. Worse.

His fleshy- well fleshier- parts brewing in amongst vegetables he apparently stole from their patch. Destined, perhaps, to be a stew. Or a filling. Covered in gravy, wrapped in pastry. He'd have to remember that. It would stop him getting too complacent. Comfortable.

He certainly wasn't comfortable now. Half upright half crouched in what he guessed was some kind of ditch. Probably an irrigation ditch. If he was wrong and it was a moat, he was in trouble. Definitely a royal delicacy. Plan A, part one: Stay hidden.

The weeds and grass seemed to be doing well around its top and sides. They provided some cover. It was morning now, the vegetation must have concealed his carcass long enough to bore the humans. Or they thought he'd move further afield. The murky water probably helped. Dyed royal blue coats a lovely shade of dirty, washed out, mangy, half dead hydrangea. It was pitiful really. It couldn't be mistaken for a stream, never mind a river. In fact, Sonic wouldn't be surprised if the dog from earlier was urinating further up ditch. Somehow it managed to flow. Though he doubted if it wasn't on a down hill slant, the water would be able to dribble along at all.

Speaking of water. He could feel it slithering down his back. Seeping it's way between his quills. As if he didn't hate the liquid enough. He shivered at first. Then spasmed. Then couldn't bare it much longer. As he shook and made unintelligible noises, droplets sprayed in all directions. 'Bet the smell of wet hedgehog travels even further than a dry one.' Breath caught in his chest. The dog.

"SHUT UP! Dumb mutt." That sounded like human. The barking ceased. Huffing and soft growls replaced the once demanding noise. He was grateful for the peace.

Tippy-toes were required before emerald eyes could peer over the edges of the ditch. A row of brick houses stood tall near by, separated from the ditch-come-temporary-bed-for-one-night-only by long fenced gardens. Five or six in a row. Not too crowded. No houses overlooking the gardens. Means no 'Neighbourhood Watch' to call 'Animal Control'. Perfect.

It took some effort to haul himself over precipice. After a bit o' panting, a few handfuls of hedgie huffing and a thirty second pout, he heaved himself off the muddy turf and to his knees. Well. Knees were a start.

He scouted the fences. He could burrow under. Maybe claw up and ov- sniff. Sniff, sniff. A lick of the lips. The removal of drool from the corner of the mouth. The insatiable instinct to forage. To store up fat reserves (Or in Sonic's case simply to get some meat on his bones). Food. Eat.

Following his snout, he wound up with his squishy little black nose through a knot in the wood of a gate. Sniff. Meaty. He needed meat. He opened the eyes he hadn't realised he'd closed when he didn't taste any meat. It wasn't even the taste of slimy slug. It was wood. Great. Battered pride and a splintered tongue.

So busy was our little spiky victim wrinkling up his muzzle and scraping his tongue in the backs of his teeth, that he didn't realise the other slobbering mammal on the other side of the fence. Not till a hot gust of air that smelled like rotting flesh went up his little nose and down his little throat. He fell back onto his rear in surprise.

Dog Food. How degrading. He was drooling over the prospect of dog food. Desperate. It was official. He heaved a heavy sigh. At least it wasn't barking at him now. Just sizing him up through the hole that previously housed his own eye. Perhaps measuring him up for the dog bowl. Curled up he'd defiantly fit. Or maybe he was so skinny it could imagine chewing on his bones (even with it's arguably feeble imagination), picking the best ones. He was so scrawny he himself knew which would be the juiciest.

Eye contact was made. Yup, most certainly a house to avoid. Attention seeking barking could reveal him to any humans. Wearily jogging along to the middle fences, he found a gap underneath a group of planks, raised by a tree root. He couldn't get to the floor quick enough. He shoved his stubby snout between the earth and the gate. No dog scent. Field mouse though. Seems safe enough. He almost drove his hands straight in but... he looked at his hands.

Well one was covered in blood anyhow.

Some pawing and clawing later left a hedgepig sized space. Few! Shimmy through the gap and take a gander at what is in store. Not much. Trees at the far end. His far end. Grass in the middle. Too exposed. Shrubs and flowers round the edges. Could he hide in those?

"Yeah." So he did. No human warning calls. Must of got away with it. Now the next fence. Or wall as it appeared to be. They tend to be deeper. Have foundations. It would take longer to dig under. Even if he could, he doubted he had enough energy, or the room to shift that much soil without creating suspicion (and a scale model of Mount Everest on the lawn). Not to mention he was most certainly not a mole! So over then. "Here I go..."

**Sonic POV**

Uhmf! Not one of my brighter moments. At least falling off the wall was the fastest way down. Quicker than worming my way up. Achoo! Better get off these begonias. Apparently flattening them sends the pollen flying in the breeze, mostly to tickle my nose hairs.

Okay big double doors that are mostly see through. Great and there's people on the sofa opposite. Not my day. I'm gonna have to make a break for it across the width of the garden. Stepping stones and all. Mental note: don't land in the algae ridden pond. Wait till the humans are distracted. Any second. That round one with the long fur and all of the 'human-lets' running round her feet has lent over to grab a tin and is shoving it in every ones faces. Oh, it's biscuits.

Biscuits!? Oh, how I wish she'd shove them in my face! I could kill for a- well no not kill- but I'd still love one. Wait. Perfect distraction. Who can resist biscuits? I know I can't... just run you fool. Go. Gogogogogogogogogogo-oh. Rather convenient hole in the fence. You know, for a guy who can't remember his last meal I sure do feel fat squeezing through these gaps. Oh goody another walled garden time for a repeat of the process. And it's raining. Can this day get any better?

Right, last house. Oh crud. A small house. On the grass. One the humans put dogs into. No. Not more dogs. Please.

**Yes obviously tis Sonic. He really doesn't want to be baked in a pie! 'human-lets' is from hoglets, baby hedgies, that is where that came from. The idea of Sonic having a... pungent dislike of spiders is partly due to his fear of them in the Fleetway Sonic The Comic influence and partly due to my own abhorrence of the things, I love animals. I just can't bring myself to love them. I am heartily sorry spiders. And spider fans. Sorry this is so much of a not a lot going on chapter, the next is kind of getting somewhere, 'honestus promises'. Thank you for reading this longer chapter and sticking with me till the end!**

**Bletherskite**


	3. Green eyed monster

**Me again! I won't forget about my fics, I just won't be updating as often as initially. Though I will update! I should really work on another chapter for Tales On The Beach. But I am still wrestling with that one. It tends to be longer in chapter size anyhow. Focus! This is a little introduction to the main scene of the story. I have not endeavoured to have OCs though the need for humans and back ground characters will arise. Though I will try to focus on Sonic, Please let me know if you like them or not. They are starting to grow on me. **

**Thank you very much for the reviews! I'm having a few issues with seeing and reply to reviews on sometimes so please forgive me but I normally get them at least through PM and thank you for your support! I am dropping the POV I make it too messy. ShinyShiny9 gave me some great tips! ( I'm so pleased to drop it!). I will include more thoughts. Oh yeah _italics_ are thoughts. Forgot about that. I need to stop typing...**

**Disclaimer: See initial chapter.**

He could hear barking. It was coming closer. Little pointed ears couldn't decide whether they wanted to be up and alert or down and pinned back. Quills tensed and raised in defence, ready for the imminent attack. Eyes open, though he wasn't so sure he really wanted to watch...

… voices. Human voices. Barking. On the other side of the fence! _"Few! Ain't that a relief! Hang on - it's getting cl... cl-closer! This is their garden! Their going to come through the gate any second! Stop panicking and hide you moron!_" Hide. Instinct took partial control, filtering his thoughts an quickly whittling down his options. Not near the house... though the tree to the right will suffice. A little slippery with the veil of rain, but the bark was strong and making for great hand holds. "_Hissss. It's rough"_ Skin of his paws and knees being scratched away, if he had the time he probably would have quirked (to himself) about how much he resembled criss-cross chips doused in ketchup. Can't deny that friction makes it that much easier to hold on. The fourth branch was reasonably high. Leaves layered to form such a canopy that a 'squatter' would be a smidgen dryer whilst camouflaged amongst the foliage. "_I can see great from up here."_

There were a couple of clumps of hair bobbing up and down. "H_eading for the gate I wager. Yup. In comes 'poochy', he's not so bad. Kinda small for a ferocious beast, though got more fur than I do!"_ He was right. It's fur was considerably longer and thicker than his own. Not to mention more luxurious. But that wasn't his fault. That dog clearly had a regular baths, brushes and meals. Maybe too many meals. Sonic wasn't vain. Well, okay maybe a little. But he would take a full, chubby little tummy over a rib revealing concave gut. Never the less 'poochy' was cute and fuzzy looking. As though the humans can along and chopped the white tip of Tails tails clean off and used them to coat a naked dog. Sonic forced himself to stop. He could well imagine them doing something so stomach churning. Of course the over active brain imagery didn't help. Back to the matter at hand.

"_Bet it's gotta set of pipes on it though, enough to bring it's humans running that's for sure! Speaking of humans-"_

-it look like a complete set. A mother, father, child and a baby. Father was tall, well built. Curly locks of dark brown fur on his head. A fuzzy line above his top lip that twitched a little when he laughed (at the dog bouncing round his feet like a loon). The hand he placed on his wife's shoulder was huge. Defiantly huge in comparison to the scraggly little mammal.

She was much smaller and round some. But her smile was warm. Baby rested his nearly bald head on her shoulder as she squeezed him (not cutting off his air supply like a certain pink hedgehog) with such love and – "_heck, I wanna join 'im!"_

Were Sonic to join that picture, it would be as that twig of meat trapped between a chubby furless paw and a slobbery toothless mouth. Shivers shook his spine at the thought. While it seemed plausible, surely these trails of thought weren't doing much for his health. "_Great. Chew toy. That just about sums up my life's aspirations."_

That little girl, blond, her fur tumbled down her back. Curly, just like her daddy. Hair becoming airborne as she couldn't stay still, skipping and hopping all over the place. Either singing or smiling, not a frown in sight. "_Oh wait. She speaks!"_ Talking. More talking. Hands flying here there and everywhere. The four-legged mop head wasn't shuntered into the mini house. Rather into the brick house. With the humans. They could take their coats off. It was warm in there. Dry to. Oh. A subconscious frown seeped onto his blue head. A warm but cold yet stinging feeling snaked up from his belly. It left a residue inside of him. He squirmed somewhat. He didn't like that feeling. "_Huh! Gets to stay in the nice warm house. Can't say I'm not jealous."_

"_Well, looks like I can get out of my tree now. One down three to go. Two down thre -was that a snap?"_

"Yelp!". His rear was buried in a mountain of yellows, oranges and reds. Blinking once then twice Sonic began the irksome process of tree shedding removal from his leaf piercing quills. Huffing he stood to admire the wreckage in his wake. "Hmf, not bad." The rain hadn't let up any, it was getting dark, the hedgehog decided that now would be a good time for a warm cosy place to snuggle up. The kennel didn't even cross his mind. It didn't have his name on it anyway. It was 'Broono'. Broono with a capital blue B, and a rainbow for the other letters. _' I can guess whose handy work this is. I need to clear up these leaves, it's a little too obvious something bigger than a flightless bird fell outta that tree.' _

Knees sunk into the soggy earth, Sonic commenced the gruelling task of raking the leaves into some sort of mound with his grubby little paws. _'There! Now for somewhere to sleep.' _He eyed the new formation. _' I gotta admit, my tail was pretty cosy in there. I'd need a few more to cover me though. Then again the earth is dryish but soft underneath these leaves, I cud dig down a little ways...'_

He did just that. After playing Repossession Man and confiscating some leaves in behalf of the Bank of Sonic, he dug a little dip in the soil, probably destroying the turf, and gathered the leaves until it formed an insulating layer. Once in he wiggled some, the earth moulding beneath him. The cherry on the cake was the gap covering. It wasn't that uncomfortable, other than the odd pine cone digging in less than favourable places. In fact it was so cosy and warm he could feel the heat of his own breath bouncing back to blow-dry his face. So cosy that before long he found himself dryish and warm and – ever so tired.

Why couldn't he open his mouth? Surprise caused him to pull back. His muzzle wasn't following. Panicked, he started moving his limbs in reverse, unwittingly burrowing further and further into the soil. It took him a few minutes until he heard whimpering. Listening, it turns out it was HIS whimpering. How pathetic.

She didn't know what to think. Animals loved her! And if Broono's puppy (she's 6 years old, what did you expect?) wasn't wanting to come out and play, well... maybe he was just shy? She sat back, snout still in hand, a look of intense thought nestled on her face. Broonoo had found it. Sniffed around the giant pile of leaves, called her over and then lost interest. Hers had just begun to peak. Head turning a full 90 degrees, one pigtail hanging haphazardly over her face, she had an idea. She'd have to coax him out.

Her grip lessened, though she was careful not to let go (or give the pup enough room to escape) and swirled her hand to under it's chin. Thumb still up the sides and preventing the jaw opening up. '_Frightened animals sometimes bite because they don't know any better, Papa says that.'_ She began to slowly and gently move her palm up and down it's chin a thumb stroking the sides of the muzzle.

The whimpering stopped. Thank goodness. She didn't like crying so didn't think animals would either. He probably just needed a big hug. She could fix that! He just needed to come out of his nest...

Three was the occasional noise of complaint but nothing like the whining before. Her little bald fingers crawled down his chin to his neck fingers waving like a fan over the fur there. Where was that collar? Broono had one. It wasn't until she felt the enormous gulp force it's way down pups throat that she considered the fact he might be scared. _'Maybe a full tummy will help?'_

**I had more to add but I wager that this is long enough. More little girl irritating Sonic to come! And again more Sonic becoming food references. Mwah ha ha ha! Please drop me a review if you can. Hope you enjoyed! Till next time.**

**Bletherskite**


	4. Feeling Sluggish

**Hola! I have a feeling that this chapter isn't very exciting... I just couldn't stop typing... please bare with me! Also thank you sooooooo very muchly for the reviews, favorites and follows! They keep me going and give me inspiration, so please continue. I appreciate your support and your advice. I can't promise to include everything or anything asked but I will try if it can snuggle into a good place. Also (a lot 'o' also in this?), 'I are British' so I may use words/phrases that are very 'English', I would say forgive me but... that's kind of the way I talk so I feel I would be apologising for thinking. Yeah. I'm gonna stop typing now. I hope I write in a way you can picture it in your head, I like to read that way and want everyone to experience it. I'll stop now. Honest. Onwards!**

**Disclaimer: All most forgot (though would it be such a crime?) See initial chapter.**

Had she really gone? Was she just trying to trick him? **PRETEND** her attention span had failed. **MAKING** him believe that she'd let him alone. **THEN** when his guard was down, he would innocently peak out of his autumnal nest, have a quick peak to ensure that the coast was clear and- **POUNCE**!

Do humans pounce? That seems rather feline for them... perhaps they grab. The human in the forest tried to grab him, with those pudgy meaty paws. The thought made his skin crawl. He shivered in place, the rustling noise amplified by his bristling quills causing the leaves to quiver in a similar manner. Rather than dwell on unpleasant thoughts, he deemed it more appropriate to decipher the snack-sized child's master plan.

A little moist nose revealed itself from between some oak leaves (jerking a little as a prickly pine cone went up one nostril). It sniffed once. Twice. Once again for good measure. It didn't smell like human. At least not enough for one to still be in the immediate proximity. There was a lingering smell of one, mixed with a hint of sickly sweet strawberry. It reminded him of home, Amy smelt like that. Only not so sickeningly sweet. More like fresh wild strawberries. A brief moment of nostalgia captured him as he closed his eyes, no, he had to focus on now. Now he was not surrounded by friends. Now he was not at home. Now he was not snuggled in front of a fire, on a rug, twisted in a barrage of blankets.

No. Now he was buried alive by layer upon layer of soggy leaves, on muddy carpet and twisted in a tangle of his own limbs. Now he was surrounded by strange sights and foreign smells. Now he was surrounded by growling dogs and snarling humans.

Humans. That's what he was doing. The snout like the bow of a boat (ironic huh?) pushed the leaves aside. A face began to emerge. Eyes had every intention of being wide, to absorb as much light and thus information as possible. Though that becomes impractical when your light exposure levels have just rocketed. _"Why is the sun so bright!? It was cosy and dark in the... whatever I made last night. Ow. I can hardly see anything. I think my eyes are bleeding! Wait. False alarm. Just watering."_

At some point in the attempt to shield his poor eyes, the hedgehog found himself almost completely leaf free. One hand strewn across his muzzle, still convenient in case of the need for impromptu sun glasses. The other arm like an 'N', hand supporting a great deal of his torsos weight. Where was the rest of him? The most important part of him, he thought. His legs. Without those there would be no running.

"_What would humans want with them!?"_

All thoughts of the human-let forgotten, Sonic's head twirled round in an attempt to cast eyes on his rear limbs. From the waist down he was ensnared in leaves. He slowly dragged his rear half towards him. Making sure that every inch followed, that none had been eaten by his 'safe haven'. He could see them now. Why he dragged them as though they were numb was beyond him. But once he could reach over and touch them, he could breath a sigh of relief.

Taking a good look he frowned. The legs were one of the thickest parts of him. He was scrawny. We've established that. His legs held muscle. They were solid. Substantial. Not like those noodles parading as his arms.

Sonic sat with his spiky cranium tilted to one side. Just staring. What **would** the humans want with them. **He** wanted them. Would they? He heard that humans ate legs. Frogs legs. Though why **anyone** would want to, was another thing beyond him. He would definitely taste better than some frog.

It wasn't until he realised his nose was turned up in a snooty manner that he began to wonder whether he should feel as proud of that as he did... Wouldn't that make him a contender to the dinner platter?

"_Enough with thinking about the humans, LOOK for the humans!"_

After scoping out the area around him, looking for any trace of bald or blonde. There was none. The tension eased in his shoulders. Quills falling limp. He could relax. Marginally. Jumping up, de-leaving and wiping his hands on the back of his frogs legs, Sonic took a gander at his surroundings.

Nice garden actually. Lots of greenery. _"Half drowned. But green. Those downpours really did a number on this place huh?"_ Red brick and mortar towered above him. This house was **big**. By no means a mansion, but spacious all the same. They weren't rich per say, just not hard up. That much was obvious. The house didn't block out much sunlight to the garden. Sonic was grateful for that. Eyes flickering closed as the rays fingered it's way between blue fur strands to the chilled skin beneath. Click.

There were clicks. A slight creak of a hinge. He wouldn't be alone for long.

"Be Careful on those steps! They're still slippery! And don't splash in muddy puddles!"

"Yes Mummy"

"Are you wearing your wellingtons?"

"Mmmhumm."

Her gait looked like a pair of maths compasses trying to traverse steps. It would be funny if it wasn't so cute. The hedgehog didn't notice this, of course, he was to busy diving for cover between the bins. He didn't notice the smell either. Fortunately.

What was-?... Broono's puppy! Bounding made her hair ride the breeze that trailed behind her. She tried not to spill the supplements. Difficult considering how excited she was.

The gimps the little munchkin had caught had been blue. As though someone had smudged a photo of her garden with blue paint. Stopping in her tracts.

He was shy right? (Blue equals boy to a 6 year old... I know a stereotype but give the kid a break!) She had to be super dooper calm and quite and friendly. Ninjas were quite. She'd be a ninja then. Sorted.

That kid made a **lot** of noise. Rattle rattle. Squelch squelch. Giggle giggle. Clang clang. Just as he began to grumble about it, ears pressed to his skull, all fell silent. Huh. It stayed that way for a while. Did she teleport? That as a skill and a half. Were humans magic? Would they use him for a potion? Put him in a cooking pot? That was silly. He really was going crazy. This wasn't Hansel and Gretel, this was... this was... okay, so he didn't know what this was. He'd think of it later. When he wasn't so squashed. Bins are heavy. And grimey. And covered in sludge and slugs, but that ain't the worst. After a couple of deep breaths he finally noticed. _"Grumbph! Ugh what is- why is? Ugh!" _Covering his nose didn't seem to help. Not when his gloves where already doused in the thick, dark sludge. Yeah, they stunk to.

Shifting position might distract him. Okay. He'll try that.

The bins rattled the teeny tiniest bit. Maybe he liked hide and seek! _" I'm real good at hide n seek! Heehee! I already know where he is, this will be easy peasy lemon squeezy..."_ Though it would be of great surprise to her parents, she had managed to remain quite for an unfathomable amount of time! Well. For a hyper 6 year old. Maybe he was excited to. Maybe he was so excited he couldn't stay still... that's why the bins were moving! How clever of her. Well once the little one sees what's in her hand, he'll be even **more** excited. Plus her hand was getting tired.

"_Eeeeeeeeeeeeew!" _Take it from hedgehogs, slugs between your fingers does not feel good. In reality he could eat the slugs. They were part of his natural diet. 'Progress' had meant that mobians don't rely so heavily on their traditional diets much. Smaller islands were viewed as 'old fashioned', still strongly believing in the way their ancestors had feasted for generations. Green Hill being on one of these islands meant that, by this point, Sonic has had his fair share of slugs, earthworms, beetles... though they weren't his first choice. Honestly? He avoided them like the plague. The Plague._"Could slugs carry that?"_ After peeling the slug from between the pads of his paw, Sonic casually glanced in front of himself.

"_Gah!"_ That was as far as he got. The high pitched squeak overtook him at that point. Sonic was too busy hyperventilating to chastise his hedgehog instincts.

A drape of blonde hair covered most of the opening he'd unceremoniously dived through. He drew back. Backside suffering the same fate of his paws previous. Despite how uncomfortable it is having your body become a climbing frame for spineless squidgy morsels, moving wasn't feasible at the moment.

White teeth in a banana shaped smile. What kind of smile was hard to tell. Being upside down can make it difficult. It could be friendly! She was smiling after all. Or it could be mean-spirited and cruel. Thankfully the shadows hid most of him. He could quiver unnoticed. Unless humans can smell fear...

"Ello puppy!"

"Puppy?"

Oops! Eyes widened more as it sunk in that he quite possibly said that out loud. That was worrying.

His hands clamped over his mouth, acting as a word blockade. "Well done puppy! You talk better than your Daddy! Who taught you to talk?" Okay. There was a slug on that hand. And he just ate it. Urgh...

"Shy huh? Well don't worry I got sumfin to cow-wax you out! Wait right there!" In true ninja fashion she 'somersaulted' from the bin lids and out of his view. _"Cow-wax? That doesn't sound good... poor cows. Poor me!" _

Sonic cautiously made a move to get up. At least squat off the floor. Could he make a run for the other end? Or climb the tree? This was the last garden, so he couldn't jump the fence with out a plan. Not in daylight either. One hand shoved a bin, releasing a slight metal scraping metal noise. "Be patient! And stay there, no peaking!"

Fantastic.

He sniffed and huffed in frustration. Sniff. Meat. "There you are!" Oops.

**Ta Dah! I just realised. Sonic literally moved a couple of feet in this entire chapter. That was it. What little progress. Ah well... I hope to make it more exciting for you all in the next chapter. Hopefully you could picture the scenes in your own minds... though sorry about the slug thing. You don't have to imagine eating those. But if you'd like to - imagine jumping in a river of them, getting swept down stream in their slime!**

**For the rest of you, I apologise for that as well. I'll stop. Again. Oh and thanks for persevering guys! You made it to the end. As always pleasey squeezy review for me! I will give each word a mental hug :) If you found that weird I apologise again. I will stop this time. Maybe. One last thanks – Thank you!**

**Bletherskite**


	5. Super duper attractive

**Another one? I can't believe how quick I've gotten this one ready. Though I should probably proof read it again, I just can't wait! Oh, I moved the age rating purely because of my paranoia about Sonics over-active imagination when it comes to food, humans and himself. I have done so much typing and thinking that I shall type no more! Enjoy-**

**Disclaimer: Sigh... See the initial chapter.**

He was almost out. When had he moved? Hunger must have carried him forwards. 'Blondey' stared levelly at him. Did his eye just twitch? He lost the unofficial contest. Looking down and catching sight of the bowl. A dog bowl regrettably. Piled high with food. Succulent cuts of meat, clothed in gravy and practically climbing out of the bowl to meet him!

Yup. He was salivating. Classy. Uh-oh internal war alert.

"_**Food**!"_

"_It's too degrading."_

"_I'm sooooooo hungry!"_

"_I am **not** a dog."_

"_But-"_

"_Or a feral!"_

"_My stomach **hurts**!"_

"_**Or** a puppy!"_

"_But the borborygmus!"_

"_I- the what?"_

"_I don't know. Tails said it once when we were hungry."_

In the mean time, he began panting. Tongue breaching the gap in his teeth, threatening to blast through his sealed lips, straight into the wealth of protein.

She stood watching with a smile of satisfaction on her face. A little further and she could see him. Her patio door swung open. "Darling, inside now it's starting to rain again! What are you doing dear?" Four eyes looked towards the rotund figure balanced between steps.

"_Not now! She'll scare him off!"_

Looking back, that was the moment. The trigger, if you will. He wasn't sure whether it was the ear rolling clattering echo the silver bowl made when it hit the ground, or the almighty clack from the sky. But one pulled him from his Johnny-caught-in-the-healights state. Wits about him once more, Sonic dived back into the recess between the bins he had only just emerged from. Reunited with his friends - Slugworth & Co.

There was a high pitched squeal. For once not from hedgehog origins. As the blonde-bombshell waddled like a penguin who'd stolen the feet from a rocking horse,to her mother who beckoned her inside. Probably out of the rain. Lucky ducks.

Sonic, however, was trapped on the other side of the patio doors. In the cold. Under the storm clouds that decided the rest their lumpy chins on the atmosphere above his pretty little prison. Blue ears flopped, at a loss, this just wasn't his week was it? _"I don't think I've ever seen so much rain." _In truth he probably hadn't. Little did he realise when the rain came to stay, it made a holiday of it.

Sonic never liked water. At least not for as long as he could remember. Never liked water. Not at the best of times. In fact he was debating whether it was better to drown in the stuff and not have to suffer any more, or to be fully conscious with clear lungs but having to live with it wriggling it's way into his fur, saturating the folds of flesh concealed beneath.

He'd almost come to accept it as a way of life. He was **never** dry. Not now. No. Now he was the big drip. In the most literal of senses. That was how it was for the rest of the week. Presumably the rest of the week. He could tell the time of day from the sun and alike, but individual days just sort of mushed together.

Early on rationing came into place. But 'Broono Jr.' had still eaten most of the berries. Edible and... not so edible. He has that to thank for the dehydration. Funny in a weird sort of way really. Considering how much water he was surrounded by. He knew he needed water. He'd tried digging holes to collect enough to scoop into his hands. Suppose the land was saturated enough. But any water he **had** collected was so muddied that it just wasn't worth it. In fact it was probably unsanitary. Not that his alternative was any better.

No. Water pooling on the top of bin lids probably isn't any cleaner. He was on tip toes. Gripping the lid edge whilst shaking knees supported him. Head low. Pink tongue dipping in and out of the film of water.

It was while in the act of lapping up water that he gave in to his instincts further. Once his thirst was moderately satisfied, dulling emerald eyes locked onto a pair of shifty looking beady ones. There was a stand off. No one moved. His lip twitched. Jaw quivering. The beady eyes peered at him further. Then-

It was difficult to tell what was saliva and what was slime. It didn't taste good. But in the moment he couldn't taste anything but the thought that it was **food**! As it slid down his throat and was laid to rest in his shrunken stomach, Sonic couldn't help but gulp down air he hadn't realised he was withholding from himself. There were some whines and groans. As he flickered back into reality, he had another, more shocking thought. He'd need a new name.

He was never too great at names. Too indecisive. Panicked on the spot. Hey, take Tails for an example, creative eh? But even he knew that 'Slugworth Mark 2' wasn't going to cut it. At least he had a new food source. Till he whittled that down. Perhaps he'd have to dig for worms next. He wouldn't even need to pretend to be the rain!

Hmm. Though. That dog bowl was still there. Still untouched mind you. That was one battle from the internal war he hadn't given into. Though it was getting harder. And they hadn't just left the original dog food there to drown. Oh no. Every day there was a fresh bowl. They were making it incredibly hard to keep his resolve. **They** because at first it was only that little monster. But then he'd caught the tall one with the furry caterpillar above his lip leaving him a bowl. They'd take turns.

He could hear the round lady sometimes. She'd complain about them wasting food on a certain someone's imaginary friend. They just ignored her. They were persistent he'd give them that. Standing. Noses pressed against the glass. What were they looking for?

He'd shrug them off and continue to forage desperately for food. It was after doing just this that he got the shock of his life. Whilst kneeling on a bin lid, picking off the poor unfortunate slugs who happen to have had a similar idea, he dropped his guard. Back facing the garden. A spike ball of quills. He hadn't noticed.

The ninjas noticed. They had just placed the food bowl down. And as he began to stand up, 'Poppa-bear' caught sight of blue. They froze. Movements slow.

Sonic was too busy forcing a slug down his throat with his fingers. It hadn't helped that it went down sideways. Or that is was some kind of body building steroid pumped slug that was fighting back with its... one...?... muscle.

"Daddy? What does that taste like?"

Sonic jumped in surprise. Limbs flailing wildly. Slipping behind the bins. Landing head first. Nice.

His eyebrows rose. Partly in surprised confusion and partly in amusement. Poor thing got the fright of it's life. That squeak said it all. As much as he wanted to check and see that it wasn't hurt, he knew further disturbance may just provoke the poor things racing heart beat into inducing a heart attack. He could look out for it. If he caught a glimpse when walking, check that it hadn't broken anything. At least he knew what it looked like. Well- sort of. It was blue and spiky. He got that much.

One thing was for sure. It was **not** a dog. Certainly not Broono's. That was impossible. But what was it? He'd keep an eye out.

After that little ordeal things had gone a smidgen different. Sonic watched from his perch hidden amongst the leaves as the human man below placed down the constant that was the food bowl. He wasn't letting the little girl near though. That was strange. Even when she pleaded. And he **always **gave in when she pleaded. _"What is he up to?"_

Even in the soggy air the smell found it's way to his nose. How? Dampened air had been keeping enticing smells like this from him. That made fighting his hunger easier. So why was this time an exception?

The humans were gone. His eyes were so busy rolling to the back of his head with the delightful waft of food that he hadn't noticed their departure. But he could hardly care. That meaty scent gave him a new lease of life. It wasn't till he heard the squelch of his shoes hitting the marshy earth circling the tree, he realised he had moved.

Peach stomach low to the ground. Shoulders shifting side to side. His neck swooning in different directions trying to get a decent view of the food a little way away. Sonic breathed in. That was it. That was enough. Stuff the internal war. Stuff degrading and undignified. He was **hungry**. And it smelt **so good**. It was a funny old site. A hedgehog stalking a bowl of dog food. But the rage of emotions in him drove him to this. He was **excited**!

As Sonic's blue muzzle hovered above, that was it. The last moment to consider what he was doing. It hit his face. He didn't even register the smell this time. Heat. Steam.

They watched from the warmth of the patio doors. Daddy and daughter watching nature. It was still dark and murky. The clouds made sure of that. The drops and streams gathering on the panes of glass didn't exactly help their cause either. But the kettle did. It was that hydrate dog food. You pour water in. Poor thing looked so wet and cold last time. He couldn't resist. Cup of coffee with milk no sugar for the wife. Mug of tea with a dash of milk and three spoonfuls of brown sugar, though he would of preferred white but his other half insists. Fill them up with the freshly boiled water from the kettle and- why not. Add some to the dog bowl. It felt warm in his hands. Might even help the poor tyke. Might even eat some. Would make a nice change. He doubted there were enough bugs in the garden to fill a hedgehog stomach of that size.

That's right. Hedgehog. He could see him now. Sort of. He practically hoovered up the meat.

It was disgusting really. He considered using his hands, but that would soak some of the meat juices up. Less for him to enjoy. No, muzzle first was so much better. As the meat and _"carrots?" _glided into his tummy, they left a warm feeling where they touched. He sighed and shivered in contentment. Slurping and licking the remaining juice. That was **good**. He didn't care that it stained the peach fur cloaking his face, or that it was running in streams down his chin and neck and chest. It was the first thing he'd consumed all week that hadn't attempted to retreat up his oesophagus. And he would enjoy it.

She was remarkable really. Determined and persistent. Not giving up in her bid to help the strange blue squatter hunched over a dog bowl on their lawn. She had a big heart, much like her mother. And a love of animals, much like himself. Perhaps she would follow in his stead one day? Career dedicated to vulnerable creatures. She'd already shown some signs. Desire to fatten up the scrawny mammal being evidence.

He'd teach her how. Lead by example. Yes. He'd look out for the bundle of inevitable pin-pricks and stubbornness. Observation. Observation is key.

He fell back onto his hind quarters after that. Adrenaline nowhere to be seen. Perhaps a snooze wouldn't be so bad right about now?

"_Not the time hedgehog. Not the time."_ If he wanted to rest his sore eyes he'd need some cover. He suffered from lack of energy, despite gorging on the largest, warmest meal in sight for a long time. _"Well, in sight and in reach. I've saw a couple of fat, steaming dishes. Just. Inside. With the humans." _A lick of the lips.To moisturise them of course. He wasn't salivating. Not at the thought of food. _"Alright. Yes at the though of food. But **not** human food."_

Oak table just about as tall as his measly 3ft something. It stretched for miles. At least from Sonics perspective. Each mile laced with mile upon mile of food. Cotton table cloth hanging lazily over the edges. Napkins stretching upwards to get a peek at some more of the nights delights. Metal instruments poised to attention._"What were they for?" _He hadn't found out yet. One thing he **did** know was that they reflected misshapen images of the morsels teasing him from behind the glass. Clear read sand-castle-like object wobbling at him on the white circle it was sat upon. He supposed they were plates. Human plates. Not mobian plates. Ridged flat leaves or stones that plateaued. There were fruits and vegetables that he recognised also. Shapes and colours and sizes that he had never seen in one sitting. It was strange. Strawberries and raspberries? Next to leeks and blackberries? Not just a few juicy reds. Whole handfuls of them! How? He had to wait for everything to be in season. That wasn't fair. He **hated** waiting.

Wait. There's more. Something lounging on a bed of crispy vegetables. Carried with the utmost care. As it was laid to rest upon the table mat the hedgehog could see it now. Meat. Quite noticeably a cooked chicken. Emerald irises shrunk considerably, white seemed to fill the space they vacated.

He couldn't see a head. Now that he was grateful for! Though the limbs were tied with browned string. Looking at it now. He noticed that it was of rather large proportions. Admittedly, not mobian proportions. Probably. But obscene for poultry non the less. It was stuffed to boot.

With this memory in mind, our current Sonic mentally plummeted from his previous cloud nine to being was inhumanly dropped into the depths of despair. _"What if they fatten the chickens up? They must do..." _Whilst the exact process was not clear to him, the concept was. Whether that concept was true or not is beside the point for the time being.

Head down, a once white glove seized the flesh of the stomach close at hand, kneading it. Twisting and pulling in discomfort. He was lost in his own musings again. _"Capture. Feed. Befriend. Feed. Catch. Eat. That's what they're doing isn't it!?"_ He was reeling back now. Hauling himself back to the other side of the tree. Hidden from those human eyes. Eyes that were judging him. Judging how pudgy he was. Judging how many mouths he'd feed. How hungry he was. How much food they could fill him with.

What would he taste like? Would they need to season him?

Sonic gave himself a look. He was far too scrawny to be sat on that table. For the moment. No doubt he had a while longer before they started preparing his bed of veg. "_Though no sprouts._" If he was going down, he'd rather not go down with them. That could be his last request.

Yes He had time. Not to worry. For now.

**Oh yes, forgot to say, this is a long chapter huh? In comparison to the others anyhow. Sorry about the late warning. Well done if you did it all in one go. For those of you who thought half way 'when is this gonna end!?' I'm sorry, I understand if you took a few breaks, I have to when I proof read. Though I do a hilariously bad job, probably due to the fact I'm trying to concentrate too late at night, I'm sorry you all have to suffer as a result!**

**Thanks for sticking to the end. I've been doing quite a lot of reading up and am trying to subtly squeeze in little details to make the story 'more real', not that a story about a giant blue hedgehog that can run at super sonic speeds is real and believable but hey. Thanks again and see ya'll soon!**

**Bletherskite**


	6. The milky bars are on him

**Long time no see! Actually still no see... but you catch my drift. Here is the next instalment as promised, I have taken on board some advice and I hope you can feel a shift in style between Sonic and his erratic thought process an my still erratic but lengthier narrating. I have been brushing up on my knowledge of hedgies to bring you a little accuracy and enhance your reading experience... or so I hope. Please enjoy my chums!**

**Disclaimer: See initial chapter.**

He knew it. He **knew** it. He knew it would make him ill! Could he stop himself?

No! _"You. __**You**__! Lactose intolerant fool! What? Water in it's purest form not good enough for you?" _A shaking fist collided with the side of his skull, mentally and physically berating himself it seems._ "Oh sure, I was using bin lids as cups, I'll give you – me – that. It's vile. Repulsive even. But that is no excuse to go drinking 'pretty poison'! What are you, a cat?" _A recent study seems to indicate that the thumping of ones head in a rather violent manner isn't a very beneficial action. His headaches seemed to dance to every strike, as though each blow was a beat to a feel-good rhythm in a club with rather generous portions of volume. _"Well, there could be some- no. No Sonic. Don't even think it. Just because there is a __**small**__ chance you do have some feline heritage somewhere in amongst all of those other hedgehogy genes, doesn't change the fact you're a __**hedgehog**__. A hedgehog __trapped__ in __human__ territory!" _A long list was coming, he could feel it brewing, the rant clawing from the pit of his stomach to begin the climb up his chest then into his throat. Though it came across a problem with his tonsils, so rather than unleash it's self orally held off till it reached his greyer than usual matter._"And in the __**rain**__. And stalked by __**humans**__._" Hey, everyone needs an outlet sometimes, think of this as his._ "And __**hungry**__. And __**terrif**__-marginaly concerned for your own safety... And far from home. And from friends. And everything you've ever known. Or cared about. And so hopelessly, helplessly horribly __**lost**__!"_

He gave way a little at that. Dehydration once again purging his system at least that was what he blamed. He hadn't eaten since the 'incident' and yet despite this precaution the petite peach stomach still felt an uninvited need to lurch. On hands and knees he jerked forwards, like a wave, as the nausea snaked through him. Sonic gagged, in doing so allowing a crusted mouth to open, pink tongue lolling. Elbows buckling under the stress, the raspy panting began, the trembles surely weren't doing anything in that hunched little figure any good. He'd taken to practically crawling to make any headway in the solitary confinement that was the back garden. His knees resembled terrified stick-insects too much to be walked upon safely. That and as soon as he thought he **could** right himself, the dreaded lurches would strike again. If he wasn't vomiting he was- er... yes... lets just say that his body was going to purge whatever was in his hedgehogy system one way or another, not much minding the methods it used or the embarrassment it caused him. Sonic would probably have spent most of his time blushing, perhaps he did, not that anyone could tell. His cheeks were always read at the minute and hot, much like the food bowl.

The humans had taken to giving him hot food now, when you've been stranded in conditions like this little blue hedgehog you would have to be as nutty as a fruit and nut bar with nuts on the side to complain about that. It wasn't like Sonic hadn't **tried** to avoid it. At first turning his nose up at the very notion seemed to work. But handling temptation was never his forte. _"Weak minded-"_ Whether he was grumbling about the recent incident or his inability to keep his tongue from licking the bowl clean of any evidence (though the spotless finish was evidence enough in and of itself to the humans) we will never know. One thing was for sure: he was losing his self-control. The 'incident' was confirmation.

It wasn't like he'd been stealing either because she had dropped it, can't blame a hapless hog for that. And she left it out in the cold. Out in the cold... remind you of anyone? Mother human had been dashing about, pretty plimsolls soaked right through to her pudgy pink feet. She had blotches on the cloth humans used to compensate for the lack of fur. Water blotches that made her resemble somewhat a Friesian cow, though nothing was said out loud on the subject as the reception of such an enlightening observation may not have been overly welcoming. The white sacks, buldging from over feeding by the looks of it, kept appearing from the other side of the fence. If she wasn't so frequent he might of stood some chance of escaping, zip out of the open fence unnoticed. But alas alack, there was naught an opportunity for his stumpy blue tail.

The last of the bags eventually made a much sought after appearance. They were 'placed' haphazardly on the rough concrete path with a loud puff. Plump face a lot more red and flustered than he was used to seeing, but not unfriendly as it never was. Fumbling with the lock on the gate was made more difficult with the addition of the grip reducing rain. Finally there was a click.

A tut of triumph, a swift turn, an absent minded grab and the 'shopping bags' (he learnt that was their name as she was cursing them for many minutes later) split in all directions. Food and drink alike rolling away as though this was a merry jaunt. Startled "Oooh!"'s and "Oh"'s filled the garden. He had wanted to run over and help gather the supplies into her arms before throwing a scowl at the rags-for-bags now left holding nothing but water at the foot of her soggy sized 4's.

Still, no matter the good intention, he knew he couldn't. Poor woman's legs might give way beneath her if he did. Then again, there was always that teeny tiny chance she may reward him with the prospect of the nice warm house for a few minutes... _"Yeah, is that before or after she starts cutting the vegetables?" _That and he'd hate to ruin the nice persona he envisioned round her. She made him feel calm just looking at her, and to jeopardise that all because he permitted some fantasies to rule his head would be down right foolish. Besides, the vibes he got from them now hurt much less than the probable truth.

You see, the daughter made him laugh. On reflection. Not when she's standing two feet away grinning at him so hard her eyes get lost in the folds of her cheeks. But afterwards? Yeah, he has a chuckle to himself, maybe the odd guffaw. He's not seen much of the humanlet yet. Who'd let a baby out in weather like this? So that was to be expected.

The father though... He was- well, truth be told Sonic didn't know what he thought about him. He had a similar smile to his daughter, though not so intense and scary looking. His hight and build made Sonic look even smaller than he did around humans in general, so to the man's blue garden gnome he was brobdingnagian! Yet, despite the hands that were so big, Sonic often wondered whether he could sit quite comfortably in them, like in a big armchair, the man managed to hold a certain gentle manner. He never made the bowl clatter on the ground when 'feeding time at the zoo' was his turn. Sometimes, Sonic hardly noticed him at all. A furrowed hedgehog brow decided that one needed to be watched.

And watching was exactly what Sonic resigned himself to doing, the woman was all a muddle, shopping strewn in growing puddles. After almost launching herself and salvaged foodstuffs inside, before making a point of bolting the door shut and joining the curtains in holy matrimony, she disappeared from sight. Leaving something behind.

Had it been a bottle of milk, the female probably would have taken more notice of it. Perhaps even returned later to find it. A couple of pints of milk is so often considered a necessary commodity in our society. But this was not a bottle of milk. No, laying abashed, slowly leaking it's contents, was a lone tub.

I wont go into detail about the wholly unnecessary, rather baffling and slightly mortifying gait the hedgehog used to 'sneak' unnoticed to this alien object. But I will tell you that after a few sniffs he knew what it was. He'd been warned about it. They'd even been allowed to taste a bit on the tip of their finger before it was swiped by their elders preluding a fervent chastising of the children. That didn't stop it being the best thing he'd found to drink since the bin-lid-come-water-butt.

Naturally, after little internal debate, traditional Sonic style, he lapped up the lot. Like a hedgehog who got the cream in the most literal of senses.

The time had come. Now he was suffering for it.

Ah! He'd wondered where his prickly lodger had gotten to. The food bowl had been coming back untouched as of late. Flooded - yes. But untouched all the same. He thought he'd just moved on, grass greener in another garden and all that. He had **hoped** that was the case. The prospect of a hedgehog not eating it's food was worrying. He knew from experience, it was often a sign of sickness.

Those fears where confirmed when the glimpse of cobalt quills and tail turned around at a slugs pace. Paws fumbling for a hold on the tree that looked as though it was about to audition for the part as 'walking aid' in the hit theatrical production Hedgehog Pie, seemingly playing it's part well Bluey rose as though to stand. "Curious?"Though whether or not the hedgie in question could stand and/or walk like a human, he didn't find out. At that precise moment it careened. Like a child who just had their first taste of banana flavoured antibiotics. If the man wasn't so concerned, there was a chance he would have slipped on his not-so-water-proof crocs and congratulated him on the ability to keep it down. As it was though, he remained concerned, noting that now the pathetic creature had resined itself to crawling. He could hardly watch as it staggered around. He'd read up on hedgehogs. A diagnosis already piecing together in his medically inclined cranium. Itchy feet won out overall, he had to do something, or he couldn't call himself a doctor.

If it wasn't for the fact that Sonic had made a private oath to stay on the ball when around that human, he would of tucked his head back into his stomach, content to grumble at nothing. But alas it was **that** human. The giant stopped some distance from him. Not a proximity to be too much of an issue, yet. Though Sonic was sure he'd run rings around that lumbering form any day. Perhaps today wasn't any day... best be on the defensive then.

Quills raised in warning. Slow movements, slow movements were order of the day. He was careful with the placement of his eyes and head. Not wanting to come across aggressive and scare the sickly creature more, but not wanting it to think it was the boss. This was Dr. E. Moffat's garden. His roost was not about to be ruled by anyone but himself. Though he couldn't help a sigh at it's pitiful state.

Crinkling caught his ears. They raised. _"That sounds like... like... those 'shopping bags'. Is that what he's got behind his back? Why is he hiding it?"_ Attempting to look through the human now, Sonic lent forwards on wobbling limbs. Head twisted sideways.

Dr. Moffat watched with sympathy etched onto his brow as two pointy ears drooped with the sudden shift of positioning.

"_I thought that human women put their food in it. He's not gonna try and put me in it is he!? He's moving it around more, and he's... keeping cloth in it... so human men use shopping bags for cloth? Humans are so inconsistent. Is he playing with that cloth? Wow. Humans are so, yeah, strange."_

Playing with the cloth wasn't the right terminology. The man was actually arranging it in order to even the proportions out between each hand.Skilfully keeping his sausage fingers concealed beneath the towel in such a way that the hedgehog could see only burnt orange towel up to the man's biceps. With that done, he began a gradual approach eyes forbidding themselves from lingering on the cowering bundle for too long, staying as calm and natural as possible. Seeming almost leisurely in his decent as he aimed to reduce the appearance of his hight, thus reducing reason for fear on the part of the mammal.

It was confusing. The almost lackadaisical motions stopping his fight or flight instincts from kicking in effectively. Mind in a traffic jam with information and unanswered questions to the point that only when he could smell fresh flowers and honeycomb, he realised the towel was closer to his nose than he wanted it to be.

Blinking out of his daze, quills stiffening in an attempt to look a more intimidating size, Sonic began retreating into the bushes behind. The humans slow actions began to quicken slightly at the thought of his progress being lost. Hands reached down swifter, towards knobbly blue knees. That did it.

"_Not my legs! I don't want them in mint sauce!"_ With little warning the hedgehog began thrashing and flailing in distress. Whilst the actions clearly weren't going to cause much harm to the human himself, he was used to scratches, they could be detrimental to an animal in such a state as the one at his feet. Clearly, at his feet was not where it wanted to be, the other end of the garden maybe. Dr. Moffat inhaled in indecision. He was so close! He could take him inside, find out what was wrong, make him better, feed him up- all he had to do was reach out and grab it.

It was sick and stressed uncoordinated sloppy, easy to catch. But it was sick. He couldn't make that worse. With a heavy, disappointed sigh he plodded backwards.

Sonic froze again. Wasn't it going to grab him? The behemoth hesitated, shifting it's colossal (in comparison to an underweight hedgehog) weight from foot to foot. The being made his following actions humorously obvious to the bewildered hedgehog. _"whaaaat is that nutter doing? Yes. I get it, you're walking away. Congrats, you got the hint! What's he doing now? Oh! How fascinating, putting the cloth in the- he's putting the cloth in the dog house? Why would he leave it out here? It'll get soaked and it could get sto-borrowed..." _As the curiosity that was man partook of his parting steps, he gave one last look at the puffle of quills before tapping the roof of the kennel invitingly. _"Well, he is safely behind the double doors. Aw, isn't that nice, even shut the curtains to give me some privacy. That's a first. Normally he and his princess have their pudgy noses flattened up against the glass. Watching my every move. Urgh."_ Sonic Continued to dabble in one of a hedgehogs most favourite past times – huffing. That was until...

Who knew a kennel could be so interesting? It has so many planks of wood. Most of the walls on this one where rustic red, faded from a misspent post-box youth. Water tight roof, complete with miniature plastic terracotta tiles. Okay. So it wasn't that interesting. Truthfully? It was hard to justify why he was buzzing around the insipid thing so much. It **was** a kennel after all, a seclusion of exile for human pets when they become 'filthy mangy beasts'. According to the grape vine humans had this irritating tendency to attempt to justify their action, example: "Yes dear, but we have to remember they are **wild** animals at heart, still have their instincts and what not. Besides, he'll love the outdoors. See!"

"_Did you notice the question? No? Nor did I." _Sonic monologued as he heard his first sample of a woman with a dog a few gardens over. From the sounds of things, she was reasoning with *cough cough justifying herself cough cough* her step son as to the reason why it was okay for them (her) to chuck Fifi (the female) dog out into dreary weather with little more to shelter her hide than a cramped kennel. "He can run around and dig, though not in the begonias, till his little heart is content. Look how happy he is already." Sonic could almost picture her wondrous dreams of a peaceful and clean house to come for the next day or two, as she swept the curtains to hide the steadily dampening bushel of fur from poor Timothy.

He would have felt for her, going so far as to agree, but he couldn't quite picture it because the rain kept making the mental image being painted run. And if Fifi's snarling was anything to go by, feeling sorry for the human was a criminal offence, punishment being willingly administered by a rabid poodle.

As the soured Fifi sulked to her pompous pink kennel, a green gaze returned to the more hardy version situated on the same lawn as himself.

" It might even be roomier than it looks..." _"Arrgh! Stop! I'm not going to sleep in a cramped, demeaning, dry-"_

**Phew! That was a long one, huh? Oh! If you are an animal owner and you leave it outside or in a kennel, I AM NOT CRITICISING! Please don't think I am! I was just giving Sonic a misguided opinion for plot foundation building purposes, please forgive me! **

**Anyway, there are some real words and some of my own words in there, though the more obscure (believe it or not) are real! I had fun with this one actually. I find it hilarious that hedgies are lactose intolerant because it makes them so much more human-like to me, it wasn't something I expected animals to have in all honesty. Foolish I know, why wouldn't they? But hey, I didn't. Thanks for sticking to the end with me and for your reviews, each one is given a bear hug. Not literally. Or my laptop would be bust... I shall stop now...**

**Thanks again and please keep the reviews coming, constructive criticism is needed. Until next time!**

**Bletherskite**


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